blame me...

I just wanted to be free and breathe. All this messed up living, is not nice at all. I can’t even stress this enough, I need space. I hate my life. I always feel suffocated and caged. I wake up sad most mornings. I’m in and out of depression, it flickers. This thing called growing up or living, is made hard. It’s really draining... I feel uneasy most of the time. There’re times I feel suicidal. I pray oblivion brings the needed peace it preaches. I want to scream. I want to jump off a cliff. I want to dive into the ocean... I just want to breathe. Gasping for air in a room without oxygen...what’s the point? These days, everyone is expected to wear a face mask, but I’ve worn one my whole life. Those smiles you saw, or the laughs shared were all part of my life long mask. It all ends tonight. No, don’t do that; shade no tears, don’t mourn, it wasn’t anyone’s fault. Point all fingers at me, throw the shades at me. Blame me. I’m responsible for my life, literally. I wasn’t strong enough to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I couldn’t wait for the joy that comes in the morning. As the darkness welcomes me, I hope it’s filled with the needed peace.